Indian wedding is all about 3G’s – GLITZ, GLAM and GIFTS. Its a 3 to 5 day affair of music, dance, rituals, decorations and variety of sweets. The mantras and the seven promises made to the life partner (and ofcourse many unsaid promises too) in front of mandap-agni (holy fire ), seeking the blessings of elderly and in the presence of near and dear ones, give a strong sense of attachment and a special feeling for this new relationship. Few weeks ago, I witnessed one such event and I was deeply touched by the greatness of our indian culture, once again.
Here I would be describing the important rituals of north indian marriage.
As far as I remember, five elderly and married women touched wholesome urad dal in soop (used to separate rice from husk) and sang some sacred folk song. It was followed by lunch comprising of Pooris, stuffed with dal, pulav, kheer and other usual delicacies.

Vadas
Next day was sangeet – the time of maximum enjoyment. Oh , sorry! men and boys are generally not invited for sangeet. The bride-to-be was well-decorated for the event. The whole evening was full of dances – elderly danced to the dholak and claps while the yonger ones to the tunes of dhoom machale and other new movie songs. Then there was session of GEET in which folk songs related to marriage were sung. This was followed by dinner and Paan (if you like it) A beautiful aspect of indian culture is that there’s always a song present for any condition in life. You mention the situation and there is a song for it – definately. Birth of a child, childhood, daily routines, teenage, marriage, becoming parent, greeting relatives, separation, blessings …..all cherish their own pile of songs ! In the night Mehandi is applied to the hands and feet of bride-to-be.
Early morning on the day of marriage Ladies were gathered to invite the descent (Poorvaj) and give their blessings to the couple-to-be (called as Pitra-Nyota).

Decorated Earthen Pot
Kadhi and other regular dishes were prepared and served to the heavenly first, followd by the ladies performing pooja and then everyone in the family took the prasad. This was followed by Haldi rasm (application of turmeric paste).

Turmeric paste @ Haldi event
Haldi is being narrowed due to shortage of time. In times of our moms, haldi was done 10-15 days before the marriage on daily basis and it was believed to improve the complexion and impart beautiful glow. Nowadays this ritual is being replaced by parlours – facials and all for imparting layers on the face. After haldi the bride is made to eat some special meal (var ka bhaat).
People started gathering at bride’s house and everyone got busy in greeting. In the evening the bride went for the full-fledged make-up for the doom’s day. When the baraat (groom with his family, relatives and friends) arrived, the bride-to-be threw sacred rice from a place where no one could see her but she could see the baraat . All the people from bride’s side (gharati) greeted their conterparts i.e. people from groom’s side (baraati) amidst mantra chanting (milani) – A special welcome showing the importance of respected guests of the day.
The Groom was given huge importance by DWAR POOJA event in which the bride’s father performed a pooja and welcomed the groom by putting a Tilak on his forehead and touching his feet (oh yes !! he is a respectable person in indian society) amidst mantras chanting. Then it was snack time - chaat, golgappe,manchurian balls, paneer tikka,spring rolls,laddus…
Time for Jayamaala and time for the Bride-to-be to come into the picture. She was made ready for the Jayamaala wearing a huge lahanga (wedding dress) and ornaments and was brought on a hugely decorated stage with two king size royal chairs (or sometimes swings ), where the groom had already reached. Aarti of the groom was done by unmarried sis-in-laws and then the groom and bride exchanged their garlands – a floral and a golden paper made.
STAGE is necessary so that everyone can enjoy those beautiful moments.
This was follwed by a long session of photography. All important relatives, elderly,friends, kids and other invitees blessed the pair and get photographed on the stage !! The dinner and the caterers were ready by this time.
The actual marriage begins after this jayamaal event. According to the shubha muhurta (auspicious time) , the bride was first brought in the mandap - A sacred place where 5 new bamboo twigs were planted in soil in a decorated can, an eartehen pot was kept, filled with rice and Mango leaves.

A Mandap
An earthen wick was lightened and the whole place was decorated with flowers. An elder brother of Groom stuck beetle leaf on bride’s forehead and gave some gift. (Taag-paat) This person is now very respectable for the bride for her whole life. (Normally this person is a distant relative of groom). The bride was sent back to her room and then groom came in the mandap. He sat on a new, yellow and pink coloured wooden plank (peedha) and again his feet were touched by bride’s parents. Some pooja was done for the groom and then the bride was again brought in the mandap - She sat with her parents exactly opposite to the groom. Then the parents performed Kanyadaan – a tradition in which they hand over the responsibility of their loving daughter to the groom, understanding and accepting that from now my daughter’s guardianship is my son-in-law’s duty, expecting that he will take good care of their daughter. The groom accepted this HUGE responsibility amidst mantras and then the bride was made to sit with her husband, on his right side, opposite to her parents.
How things drastically change within minutes?? I was thinking…
Then bride’s brother gave them his blessings with rice puff (laava) and he was offered a dreess as a gift from groom’s parents. The time to make them a man and his bride, came - The bride was covered with a yellow cloth and the groom put sindoor in her middle hair parting – No one was allowed to see this event directly except the groom !! (Sindoordaan). The brides bhabhi (elder brother’s wife) was then asked to fill the entire parting with sindoor, even that was done under cover – it is believed that if you show this event to everyone – your married life will not be happy at all. The bhabhi was gifted a saree from groom’s parents on this event. Soon after the bride was made to sit on the left side of the groom – NOW THEY ARE MAN and WIFE.
It was time for blessings by showering rice and flowers on the couple. The bride threw some rice behind her praying to the Almighty for taking care of her family and she was made to go with the groom in a nicely decorated car. It was difficult to control the tears at that heartfelt event of Vidai. Everyone was crying as their loving daughter, sis, cousin, grand-daughter…etc etc was leaving for another house …..the place would never be same again……without her……But life has to go on ….